Date : September 10, 2008
Time : 12:08 PM
Title : My Household (Uber Personal, Sad)

Since everyone seems to be blogging about their family, so will I.

Well, my parents are separated, they have been since October 2002 in Australia. This is the reason why we never moved to Perth where we were to live as permanent residents. I stayed with my dad until November 2003, in South Korea. I took a plane back to Singapore as an Unaccompanied Minor, or UM as they called it.

My parents never filed for divorced. So technically they are still married. But I am so past the stage where I am still in denial and dream of them being together again. I am now at the final stage of grief. Reorganization.

Stages of Grief.

1. Denial
2. Volatile Reactions
3. Despair
4. Reorganization

When I first came to Singapore, I was SOOO despressed and SOOO in denial. imagine it yourself, put yourself in my shoes, your dad sends you on a plane alone to another country you are not so familiar with. No more friends and family(to an extend).

I never actually had volatile reactions. This is because I have always managed to control my anger and frustration. I was so in despair when I first stepped into Public School. I was enrolled in Gan Eng Seng Primary School. I was 2 years older than my peers, they all seem to be leading a happy life. Having whole families. I was filled with so much despair and jealousy.

Then, slowly i began to accept that nothing can change. I can only wish my parents were together again, and that is it, but what's the use? I might as well move on with life and focus on my own future, not my past.

Moving on to Saint Joseph's Institution really help me out as well. They had this programmed called Rainbows. It was for the students whose parents are Divorced, Separated or Deceased. And we all got together in different groups every week to discuss our feelings.

Lately, I have been seeing my dad and have been in contact more frequently, but that is only because he is in the region.

I still so dream of a happy family, but I am realistic. Sometimes a dream is meant to stay that way. Even if a dream IS a WISH your heart makes. No matter how strong that WISH is..

I have been living with this burdern for 5 years. So if you are worried over your parents quarreling over petty issues, I would be envious of you. I'd rather a family like that than my actual BROKEN one.

Hats off.
Rooke