Date : January 14, 2008
Time : 11:51 AM
Title : Family Fights

i hate it when we have arguements in the family!!! and i always seem to be part of it..

i always feel like everyone is against me.. like i'm the one who is always the wrong one, always the one to be blamed.. its not fair!!! sometimes.. im just sooo frustrated.. urgh!!!!! they make it seem like i'm the bad one in the family!!! my sister always has a messy bedroom, my brother was an underaged smoker(now 18), he had a case of glue sniffing and another one of having needles in his bag.. i mean compared to these.. i should look like an angel.. i try my best to look like the best.. and be riight.. but.. i'm always the one to blame.. fingers pointing my direction!!! i get this feeling everywhere i go..

the feeling that i'm treated like an outcast! like no one wants to be my friend.. i'm always feeling lonely.. even when i'm with schoolmates.. notice i didn't call them friends.. its cause i don't really know what friend means.. i'm not sure if i have made any yet.. its just alien to me..

the songs you see at the JukeBox reflect how i feel.. all the time.. i can relate to them... i always seem to push myself away from socialising.. i', just frightened of the outcome.. though i like taking risks.. i'm frightened of the risks there is in making friends.. like betrayel.. backstabs.. etc...

sorry this is such an emotive post.. this is the real me.. i become me when i'm not around people.. i'm sich a hypocrite around people.. that sometimes.. i forget who i really am....

peace...